I don't think you ever reach an age where you listen and abide to everything someone may tell you, even if it is for the greater good and your best interests are at heart. Maybe it is stubbornness or a feeling of 'I know best' or you might even be in denial. Whatever the scenario, 9/10 we learn the hard way. I often seek advice or ask opinions from others, only to do it the way I intended to in the first place and I am certain I am not alone in that. For those close to me - I think they have learnt to tell me what I want to hear as they know I will do the opposite to whatever they say anyway. My Mum would say I am contrary - I call it determined.
In this particular instance I wish I had listened, not only to my body but those close to me and also health professionals. For those of you reading this who don't know my journey, I continued to exercise post baby when I was advised to stop, or at the very least slow down and I didn't. There was time to correct the damage that I had encountered with my pelvic floor, although unfortunately I didn't listen and now it is too late. Nearly 2 years on and learning to live with it.
Being diagnosed with a pro-lapse is not easy to hear, where it is not bad enough for surgery, yet is bad enough that I wee myself every time I run. I have spoken to Mums who can't do a star jump without leakage - why do we accept that this is ok? We shouldn't and definitely don't have to, with the right knowledge, we can be as good as new after having bub, if we really want to be. This is what has sparked a fire inside of me, now educating myself with as much as I can so other Mums don't have to suffer like this.
When running is a part of who you are, it takes time to accept this is now a reality, where my level of enjoyment for running has deteriorated A LOT... Part of the battle is the acceptance, acknowledging that you have birthed another human being and of course there will be changes to your body. This is where the modifying comes in, not only with the exercises that you do, but your mindset too.
Will I ever be able to run a marathon again? Damn right I will. I will find a way. Thankfully I have a group of amazing women health physios looking after me who specialise in pelvic floor dysfunction and have a running clinic, who understand that running has a profound positive effect on the mental and emotional state of a person.
This week I was fitted with a pessary. Sorry for the over share, you will soon learn you see what you get with me. I thought this would be the answer I was looking for, get a pessary, just wear it to exercise, stop me peeing myself and Bobs your Uncle. After numerous pesseries of different shapes and sizes being fitted, in out, in out shake it all about. Jumping and running on the spot, I still leaked every freaking time. Grrrrr. So I now have 2 types I am trying at home and trialling this week - not counting my chickens that they will work, although know they will still serve a purpose. Preventing any further damage down the track for more descent of the pelvic organs and supporting the area. That's the thing, just because it is only a mild pro-lapse now doesn't mean it won't be major in 10 years or more if I continue the way I am going.
So here I am sat with a glass of red writing my second ever blog. My intention for you reading this is for you to take at least one thing away, so I will leave you with this simple message... Surround yourself with happy, optimistic, positive people. This is the first step to cultivating a positive outlook on situations that are thrown upon us which in turn will determine your attitude and provoke the sequence of events to follow.
Yours in health, connection and happiness,
PS. Wish me luck! And mark my words, I will run a marathon again - even if I start a new fashion trend by doing so.